Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Versus: Doctor Love vs Captain Love


In the left corner, Captain Love by The Winery Dogs!
In the right corner, Calling Doctor Love by Kiss!
Touch gloves and come out fighting!
DING DING!!

That's right, folks...Its the battle of the century. Its a classic bout that features a new talent that has been gaining lots of attention, even being called 'the best band on the planet.' The Winery Dogs have been on a major 'hot streak' since their debut on the scene in 2013, and have been blowing audiences away world wide with their skill, and precision, and musically incredible songs. Both musicians and non musicians alike have been dazzled by their incredible music, but simple concerts.

The other competitor in this matchup for the ages, of course is Kiss. The seasoned veterans who are undefeated. Their concerts are anything but simple, and they may be the most extravagant concerts of all time, featuring pyro, moving stages, blood spitting and guitar smashing. They have millions of dedicated fans, and more merchandise than a Walmart distribution center. They also have a long list of hits.

So, we have the introductions out of the way, lets get to the meat of this matchup. They both have songs billing themselves as an expert at love. We are going to find out which Love expert is on top, and can be declared the undisputed KING of Love. 

The Winery Dogs have a simple concert
with incredibly genius music
Kiss has an incredibly genius concert
with simple music
One thing right off the bat that Kiss has as an advantage is that Calling Doctor Love is an all time classic hit, while Captain Love by The Winery Dogs is a brand new song. So, you might have to call Captain Love an 'underdog.' But, that doesn't matter. Every underdog has a chance to win. That's why we have the fight! 

Both songs have a basic strummed chord rhythm, however Captain Love does have elaborate solo sections. Captain Love strikes first with that jab. A right hook right off Doctor Love's jaw. And Kiss's fans aren't happy about that. But, Doctor Love fires back with its lyrics. Kiss has all the confidence in the world as he is telling his conquest date that he possesses the ability to really rock her world. 

You need my love baby, oh so bad
You're not the only one I've ever had
And if I say I wanna set you free
Don't you know you'll be in misery


Captain Love is caught off guard by that onslaught, and gets his gloves up in a defensive stance. However, he regains his composure and battles back, but Doctor Love is ready for him. An equal amount of confidence from The Captain as he successfully seduces his date. 

Another lost cause
She's messing with a lot of things
She wants the applause
She's gonna give up everything... off we go
Into the wild and dangerous side
Been through a lot of pain... help
Another lost cause
She's messing with a lot of things, a lot of things and now she turns it up!

Doctor Love quickly counters, telling Captain Love that everyone knows that HE is in fact, the Doctor of Love. That's what they call him. She needs his cure, and he's ready to administer it! Captain Love is stunned by that left hook. Doctor Love continues his onslaught, being bold, telling her to get on her knees and get ready for the first step of the cure, which is a kiss. Captain Love holds his own with stellar defense though.

So if you please get on your knees
There are no bills, there are no fees
Baby, I know what your problem is
The first step of the cure is a kiss

Suddenly, Captain Love surges back to life, with an assault of his own. Left and right hooks over and over. Captain Love already has his date in bed, and are already going at it. Doctor Love is still trying to get his date to kiss him. All the confidence in the world, but he hasn't even touched his date. Captain Love drives this point home. The younger, 45 year old Captain Love is too much for Doctor Love. The Captain may be 45, but he is 18 in the clutch! And, he is clearly in the clutch as he pummels Doctor Love relentlessly. 

All night, we breakin' off
That's why, she calling captain love
I'm forty five but I'm 18 in the clutch
Woman, who you callin'? Captain love

Yea, I'll be your captain, we can't slow this thing down
She'll make your jaw drop
Despise the fashion but you wear the shoes
Don't let your heart stop
You'll be ready once you pay your dues
Into the wild and dangerous side
Where there's no one to blame
Another lost cause
We're messing with a lot of things, a lot of things and now we turning up!


That round of attacks proves too much for Doctor Love, and he falls to the mat. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! Its OVER! Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the fight by knockout and undisputed King of Love is Captain Love!!!!! The Winery Dogs fans world wide are cheering. Kiss fans, disappointed know that it was a good fight, and that Kiss will fight another day. 

Thanks for joining us tonight for this epic battle of rock and roll heavyweights!

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