Friday, September 11, 2015

Geezer: They've Got Something, and it Ain't Arthritis!

Harvey Geezer, Leonard Geezer, Victor Farnsworth, Calvin Sizemore

I got a fever...
And the only prescription...
Is Geezer!

Its official. As I mentioned before in this post, Geezer, the geriatric rockers from Miami are good. Very good. Before, all I had to go by was studio recordings. You can get an idea of someone's talent by listening to studio recordings, but the real test can only be administered by one thing, and one thing only: A live show. 

I got an email from the lovely Gertrude Geezer last Monday, informing me that the guys had their first live performance on Sept 10, at a Melbourne, FL nightclub. I had plans to go to the movies that night, which I quickly cancelled. I was not going to miss the debut of Geezer. Another thing that made me realize these guys were not only real and good was the fact that they also seem to be 'up' with current pop culture. Their show was a 'Gig Bomb.' You all know what a photo bomb is, where some knucklehead jumps into a picture. Well, a Gig Bomb is the same thing, only at a show. They were up on stage, played 2 songs, and were literally out of there within 20 minutes. At 9:30, it was well past their bedtime.

The nightclub had an open mic session going on, and I was summoned to the back of the place, where I found the band and their entire entourage loaded up in a van, waiting. Nobody knew they were there. This was when I first got to meet the band in person. Guitarist, Leonard Geezer is the grouchy one. When I introduced myself, he just sneered, but still shook my hand. Bassist, Calvin Sizemore, looked like he would have been a Parrot Head, but was about a generation earlier. He was the laid back and good natured one. He told me about his younger, swinging days before Singer, Harvey Geezer interrupted. He wanted to shake my hand, and make sure our interview in a couple weeks on the Will and Thunder Show <Ca-ching!> was still on schedule. He was all about the business. He was talking to everyone in the entourage, and making sure that everything was going smoothly. Drummer, Victor Farnsworth was just kind of there. The band's doctor, Ken Daniels told me that he was on the meds because he had hip surgery only 6 days prior. Shortly thereafter, manager, Gino Bagalini told them it was show time. The van drove around to the front of the building, and I walked through to watch their entrance. A merry band for sure. I was excited.
Bassist, Calvin Sizemore, Yours Truly,
and Harvey Geezer
The club had a room full of hipsters and millennials. The acts that were up prior to Geezer were simple acoustic sets, and standup comedians. The crowd there was pretty well responsive to the acts that were preforming, and there was energy in the room, and outside in front of the venue. Suddenly, the Geezer Mobile pulled around from the back of the building, and pulled up right by the front door. The driver, Smitty was first out, opening the doors of the van. Next were Ken Daniels, and nurse, Veronica Cratchette. Carefully, they helped our pre classic rock rockers out of the van. Nurse Cratchette was especially kind and gentle, especially when helping Harvey out. He was the only one in a wheelchair. Leonard required assistance, Calvin was also being helped to a certain degree. Victor was on his own, using a cane. They quickly got into the building, and the next step was getting the wild ass grandpas on stage.
Harvey Geezer and Smitty
As this went on, the club, which had a pretty active crowd before was dead silent. You could hear a pin drop. Everyone was speechless, not knowing what do expect. It was so quiet that the only noise you could hear was the squeaking of the wheelchair, and the thumps of Victor's cane. Once they got to the stage, Nurse Cratchette began telling them to watch their step. "Ok, Harvey, one more step. Be careful, hun!" You could hear that plain as day, even if you were at the bar, which is at the opposite end of the establishment as the stage. I've never heard a bar that quiet in my life.

Finally, the guys got to their spots onstage, with the medical staff close by. And, that's where the story goes from fascinating to strange and downright awesome. Harvey announced the band, saying simply "Hello, My name is Harvey. We are here from the Miami Retirement Home. Its great to be here in Ft. Myers." That got some laughter, but the crowd was still not sure what was going on. He continued, "You kids like Rock and Roll?" That got a little bit of reaction. Then came the 1-2-3-4 count from the drums, and the show started with the songs California Sun, but next....
Doctor Ken Daniels and
Nurse Veronica Cratchette
...I don't know what happened. Did Ken Daniels and Veronica Cratchette inject the guys with something loaded with caffeine and painkillers? All of a sudden when California Sun started, the band sprang to life. Harvey was doing high kicks in the air, and jumping around. Leonard and Calvin were rocking their guitars and bouncing around as well, while never missing a note! And, let me tell you this..Leonard can SHRED a guitar. The crowd there was electric. These kids LOVED Geezer. There were people dancing in front of the stage, and everyone who was outside came inside. I kept hearing people commenting, saying "BRILLIANT!" and "This is AWESOME!"
Harvey in action
Leonard in action
They then played Lets go to the Beach, wrapped the Gig Bomb up...To a standing ovation! Harvey thanked the crowd, gave out the band's Facebook page. The band's adrenaline boost must have been timed just to do the show because they were helped off the stage, outside, and back into the van. All the while, people telling them how much they loved it. Then, the Geezer Mobile took off into the night. That was it. One of the most unique shows I've ever been to.
Victor in action
Calvin in action
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You NEED to see this band. They will be with us on the Will and Thunder Show <Ca-Ching!> on September 29, and I'm told there will be a full set sometime in October. Stay up to date. Gertrude Geezer does a great job updating their Facebook page.

By seeing these kids react to Geezer the way they did, I am convinced that they have something here. They can and will be touring...As long as nobody gets car sick.ër2000 /ër2000 
Management: Geezë 

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Survivor Uses Fake Outrage to Get One More Minute of Fame

2015: The year Americans were
offended by EVERYTHING...

I've been trying hard to stay away from this plague of all the outrageous butt hurt coming from the liberals in the United States this year. Its stupid, and quite frankly, its downright embarrassing. I've never seen such a  pathetic display of false outrage in my life, and it literally seems like its illegal to disagree with someone if you dare to disagree with the celebrities and Democrat politicians. But, since the latest fake outrage being forced down our throats has to do with rock music, I figured I'd weigh in. 

Of course, I'm talking about Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who was thrown in jail because she refused to issue gay marriage licenses. We won't talk about the fact that the Supreme Court cannot make law, and that is what they did. We also won't talk about the Texas clerk who is gay, and has been refusing straight marriage licenses for 3 years, and nobody has said a thing about throwing her in jail. We also won't talk about the fact that before too long, we will have to go through 4 different grocery lines just to get some beer, poker cards, ham, and condoms because everybody will have the right to refuse to sell someone something if they don't like it, rather than simply finding another job.

What we will talk about is Kim Davis. Like I said, she refused to issue gay marriage licenses because she disagreed with it because of her religion. However, we won't talk about cakes, and how a Christian baker can get fined a gazillion dollars for not making a gay marriage cake, and lose their business, while nobody bats an eye if a Muslim refuses to do the same thing for the same reason.

Anyway, part of me thinks that Kim Davis should have just quit. However, part of me applauds what she did. She stood up for what she believes in. But, she refused to comply with a judge's order to preform gay marriages, and was thrown in jail because of it. And, when she got out, Republican Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee welcomed her, and played 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor at the press conference. No biggie, right? Wrong. 

Reaction from the 2 writers of
Eye of the Tiger
I'm just wondering when it became required to share views with an artist to like their songs. I disagree with many band's views, but I still like their music. Simply put, they are trying to get back on the scene; Thinking that they can fake outrage, and people might buy a new greatest hits album with one new song on it that they wrote 2 years ago. Its one thing to blast someone publicly. That's freedom of speech, which is still legal in this country for now; but to threaten legal action? What exactly would a cease and desist letter accomplish? This was for one appearance. Just one. This is a ploy for attention and nothing more. Dee Snider blasted Paul Ryan for using We're Not Going to Take It because its a song about rebellion. Ryan wasn't rebelling against anything, but he gave his blessing to Donald Trump to use the song. The reason? Donald Trump is rebelling. 

But the truth of the matter, Huckabee and Davis weren't using the song for profit. They were using it for one press conference, and I doubt they even used the whole song. They did not need Survivor's permission to do this. If they were using the song for paid appearances, that would be a different story. But since they aren't, its the end of the story. Period. 

I'd like to see Survivor try to sue. That lawsuit wouldn't even last as long as Frankie Sullivan using his Charmin after a plate baked beans with beer. And, I wonder if he got permission from Charmin to use their name in his Facebook post??? And, what about cover bands playing their songs? Are they going to travel to every dive bar in the country and sue any band who might be playing it? How many cover bands even play Eye of the Tiger these days?

So, in closing, Survivor...Get over it. Please. You're embarrassing yourselves. And, the rest of the country...You get over it too. Having a different opinion is NOT a crime. Overreaching politicians making laws they aren't authorized to make is.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Album Review: Iron Maiden's 'The Book of Souls'

....Humanity Won't Save Us
...At the Speed of Light

But, Iron Maiden might. Or at very least keep REAL metal alive. Early reviews of their new album, The Book Of Souls signaled a juggernaut of an album. And, they weren't wrong. This double album masterpiece has all of the elements that made Maiden the greatest metal band. You could say that its a revisit to the sound of their classic albums, and that's partially true. Iron Maiden has always had the skill of a progressive metal band, but always stayed true to pure raw metal. The Book of Souls is arguably a progressive metal album. All six members are firing on all cylinders (Not that they ever weren't) has resulted in the best album straight through since Fear of the Dark. And, Bruce Dickinson has turned in his finest vocal performance since then as well. I mentioned the elements? Twin axe harmony attack, thundering bass, the trademark middle of the neck rhythm riffs, complimented by leads that are as powerful as the rhythms, epic drums, eerie synth, superb vocals (after Bruce whooped throat cancer's ass!) and of course, WHOAHS! Steve Harris, Dave Murray, Adrian Smith, and Janick Gers all have prominent writing roles as well.

The album starts off with in my opinion, the best opening song since Moonchild, from Seventh Son of a Seventh Son. If Eternity Should Fail starts with an intense synth that leads into a driving force of a song. I bet they use to open the tour just like they did with Moonchild. You aren't really going to have any radio ready hits (despite the fact that radio sucks unless its satellite radio) like Run to the Hills or The Trooper. Although Speed of Light is VERY close to that type of song. You also get a 13 minute epic assault on the senses. The Red and the Black starts off with a creepy bass lick that is followed by the what you'd expect. Guitars, epic whoahs, and another 13 minute beast of a song. It is actually a true progressive metal song. And, that isn't even the longest song on the album! We'll get to that later.

When the River Runs Deep picks up the pace, and gets down and dirty. If Aces High, Sea of Madness and Seventh Son were to have a baby together, it would be this song. It simply rocks. The title track starts with a very heavy harmony guitar lick, and a groove that with the synth in the background makes for a monster of a song to hear live. In the song Shadows of the Valley, you might think you know what to expect. It starts off similar to the opening lick in Wasted Years, then it goes in a completely different direction. Offbeat lead licks, and blistering mid tune rhythms....and whoahs!

Early reports were saying this is a concept album. It isn't. Its a themed album, which is just fine with me. I won't say which ones, but I've been let down by a few concept albums over the last decade. Book of Souls is simply about life after death, sacrifice, and souls. All the songs have that theme to them. In fact, Eddie is a Mayan mummy in this album cover. Likely the most touching song on this album, Tears of a Clown is a heart felt tribute to Robin Williams. I say that because as far as I know, its the only song about such an inspirational figure, who left us in such a tragic way. 

Iron Maiden saved the best for last on this 11 track epic album, and so did I. Empire of the Clouds makes this album that is already incredible into a 5 star masterpiece. It starts off with an amazing piano intro that Bruce Dickinson plays. He begins singing, and Nikko McBrain joins in with a marching beat on the snare drum. The song builds some more as the guitars join in and the drums are playing a whole beat. Harmony guitar solos come and provide an intro into an almost orchestral break, worthy of Dream Theater or TSO with guitar breaks reminiscent of Hallowed be Thy Name, then explodes back into another verse. You will really listen to this one and think "Did they just do that???"

Sure, Maiden has always been talented enough to do a progressive metal album, but they've never done it...Until now. And, while many progressive metal bands will have moments of filler, The Book of Souls has NO filler songs, or unnecessarily long musical breaks. Take my word for it, and buy this album. It signals that Iron Maiden is nowhere near done yet. Just like all the other great metal bands who have put out absolutely incredible albums over the past few years, Maiden has staked their flag, and let us know that the future of metal is still after all these years in capable hands. UP THE IRONS!

Wrapping it up, a friend of mine, Miss Zoe Federoff, the incredible singer of the incredible progressive metal band, Insatia said after hearing the album today "I have just now accepted a great truth about myself. I want Bruce Dickinson's babies." You don't need to go to those extremes, but you get the point. Just take our word for this. You'll dig the album!

Buy it! Now! Amazon Itunes Best Buy

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Song Lyric Dissection: Bully by Shinedown

Ok, I actually like this song. It freaking rocks. But, I have a major problem with it. Read the dissection, and you will hopefully agree with me. First time I heard this song on the radio, I thought it was the band 'Saigon Kick.' The opening riffs and the verse and bridge sound not similar but EXACTLY like Saigon Kick. Then, we got to the chorus which sounds like everything else on the radio these days. I was excited because I thought Saigon Kick was back together, and had released a new album! For those reading this who have no idea who Saigon Kick is, go to You Tube and look for the songs 'Hostile Youth' 'Peppermint Tribe' and 'What You Say' among others. On with the dissection!

For the record, I like Shinedown. 45 is one of my favorite current songs. I don't care for their remake of Simple Man though. I'm not a fan of acoustic songs.

Here we go!

Verse: It's 8 AM, this hell I'm in
Seems I've crossed a line again
For being nothing more than who I am
So break my bones and throw your stones
We all know that life ain't fair
But there's more of us we're everywhere

My main point will be revealed later, but if you guys are everywhere, why not rise up and whip this punk's ass?
Bridge: We don't have to take this back against the wall
We don't have to take this we can end it all

You don't have to take it, but your back is against the wall? Sounds like you ARE taking it and getting your ass kicked! And how are you going to end it all? Are you going to kill him? Or commit suicide? Pretty vague words there. I'm sure a prosecuting attorney could use that line to convict you for murder if the bully turns up dead!

Chorus: All you'll ever be is a faded memory of a bully
Make another joke while they hang another rope so lonely
Push them to the dirt till the words don't hurt can you hear me
No one's gonna cry on the very day you die you're a bully

Wow! You guys are gonna hang this bully??? Why not simply BEAT HIS ASS like I did in high school when I was being bullied? And if he is just a faded memory, why write a song about him? This bully (if you didnt kill him) is probably getting laid all the time by telling the chicks that HE is the bully in your song! You guys empowered this bully to get pussy on a rock star scale!!!

Verse: Think it through you can't undo
Whenever I see black and blue I feel the past, I share the bruise
With everyone who's come and gone
My head is clear my voice is strong, now I'm right here to right the wrong

You are confronting him in adult life after all these years? I'll go back to what I asked earlier...Are you gonna kill the guy?

Bridge: We don't have to take this back against the wall
We don't have to take this we can end it all

Chorus: All you'll ever be is a faded memory of a bully
Make another joke while they hang another rope so lonely
Push them to the dirt till the words don't hurt can you hear me
No one's gonna cry on the very day you die you're a bully

You know what? Why in the hell would you care if he's lonely? He's making a punk out of you. He's a piece of shit. Who cares if he is lonely???

I'm still making you wait for my main point at the end! When you read it, you will think to yourself "Damn...He's right! This song doesn't rock as much as I thought it did!"

Verse: It's 8 AM, the hell I'm in
Your voice is strong, now right the wrong

You want a public apology? DUDE! Kick his ASS like Ralphie did in 'A Christmas Story!!!'

Chorus: All you'll ever be is a faded memory of a bully
Make another joke while they hang another rope so lonely
Push them to the dirt till the words don't hurt can you hear me
No one's gonna cry on the very day you die you're a bully

Wait for it! Its coming!

Chorus/Bridge: All you'll ever be is a faded memory of a bully
Make another joke while they hang another rope so lonely
Push them to the dirt till the words don't hurt can you hear me
We don't have to take this back against the wall
We don't have to take this we can end it all
No one's gonna cry on the very day you die you're a bully

NOW! My feelings on this song....HOW IN THE HELL can a hard rock/metal song be crying about bullies??? If you're metal, JUST KICK THE GUY'S ASS!!! I swear, the more bullying is featured on the news, the more PUSSIES will be created from it. I kicked not one but TWO bullies asses in junior high at the same time. These punks had been tormenting me and finally, I had enough and I literally kicked both their asses at the same time. Know what? I NEVER looked at them and called them bullies. 

My biggest problem with this song is that just the word 'bully' and how they say 'you're a bully' is NOT metal. You call someone a bully when THEY kick YOUR ass. If they start crap with you and you kick their ass, guess what...You are a badass, and they are pussies.

The video below shows
how to deal with them

And read some of the comments...There are actually people saying the kid who was being bullied did something wrong!

We are raising a bunch of pussies in this country. I'm glad I will either be dead or too old to care when these kids are in charge.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Geezer: These Farts Rock!

"Growing old is compulsory.
Growing up is optional."
-Bob Monkhouse

I got an email the other day, and I was wondering if someone was pranking me. I did a little investigation, and I was pleasantly surprised. Nobody was pranking me. The email was from one Gertrude Geezer, a feisty old woman, and she was telling me about the greatest band in the world. A band called Geezer, that her husband, Leonard Geezer plays guitar for. Nothing out of the ordinary right? Well, the baby of the band, bassist Calvin Sizemore is 75 years old.  Yep. The band is a group of old guys who rock harder than most of today's bands. And, they have their sites set on global domination.

Living out their golden years in a retirement home in Miami, field trips are common for them. Fortunately, human error is also common. One day last year, a field trip to Disney World was cancelled due to the van driver's mistake. They wound up at the Vans Warped Tour in Orlando. That gave singer, Harvey Geezer the idea to start a rock band 
Leonard and Gertrude Geezer
After that fateful day, the retirees dipped into their savings accounts and bought guitars, amps, microphones, PA, speakers, and drums, along with instructional video tapes. Before too long, they had a set list of original songs, and they are ready to rock!

I was so intrigued by the information I was provided, I had to speak with Gertrude Geezer. We spoke on the phone, and I am happy to say that I am more pumped to see these old farts in concert than I would be for an Iron Maiden concert. I told Gertrude this, and I'm guessing that her husband, Leonard was monitoring the call because he yelled "Gertrude isn't Myron's Maiden, she's mine, Sonny, and don't you forget it! And, who the heck is Myron???" I told him that I had no intentions toward his wife, and he told me that I had better not. Gertrude told me that she is Leonard's first wife, but he is her seventh husband. She is the band's booking agent, and she does a great job. So far, the only shows Geezer has done are preforming for the other retirees at the center. That has been well received for the most part, but as Gertrude explained to me, other old people are not the target audience. They want to play "Terrific Tunes for Terrific Teens." 
Harvey Geezer and Manager,
Gino Bagalini
And, the tunes are terrific. You can check out one of the songs on their demo tape...Yes, I said tape...on Youtube. California Sun. Its pretty groovy, and singer, Harvey Geezer enunciates very well. You can understand every word he says as he sings. Maybe he should just sing all the time. The guitar is better than most than I've heard in the local bars. In fact, so is the bass and drums, which makes me think that they could actually pull this off. They aren't just a novelty. They are GOOD. 

I spoke with manager, Gino Bagalini, he told me that he sold his restaurant to manage Geezer because he believes in them. His vision for them includes a world tour in the next year or so. He told me he's all in, and he's going to use the energy he used to make his restaurant a smashing success to make Geezer a worldwide phenomenon. Who wouldn't want to see this show? Gino told me that an entourage accompanies the band whenever they go. Nurses, and doctors. Because of their age, you never know what could happen. When they are on stage, the band sometimes forget how old they are, and they have to be ready to spring into action at a moment's notice.  
Calvin Sizemore on the bass!
(Or 4 string guitar)

So, after talking with the band's management, I decided I had to get Geezer on the Will and Thunder Show. <Ca-ching!> September 29, 2015 at 9:00 PM. Singer, Harvey Geezer will be joining us. Do NOT miss this.Click here. And, do not miss them in concert when they come to your town! You may not have much time to see them!

Geezer with their Management/ Medical Staff