Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Metal in the Super Bowl? Time For a Metal Crusade!

...Here comes the metal meltdown
Run for your life...
Katy Perry, Prince, Paul McCartney, Michael Jackson, etc. They were all big time guests for the Super Bowl Halftime show, but they all have one thing in common. They aren't metal. The NFL and the record company moguls seem to be in lock step agreement about what the public wants to see on the biggest stage on Earth. They actually think that everybody wants to see either the current radio cash cows (Katy Perry, New Kids on the Block, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake) or the super classic artists (Paul McCartney, The Who, Prince, etc) And, they even threw us a bone with Aerosmith and the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but sorry...That is not good enough.

I'll take a gigantic Eddie over a walking
tiger any day.
The fact of the matter is that there are 3 metal bands that fit BOTH categories...Record album sales and classic artist. They are: Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, and Metallica. And, they are all three still going strong. I'd include Black Sabbath, but they aren't going strong, despite a great showing with their latest album.

So, I am launching a 'Metal Crusade.' Simply put, I am going to do everything I can to make the NFL do the right thing, and schedule a metal band for the halftime show. You may like one of the bands I listed better than another, but if we throw the top 3 metal bands of all time in their face, they will have to pick one. Personally, I'd be stoked if any of these three were to be selected.

Think the halftime show would suck
with Priest? 'You Got Another
Think coming!"
So, how do we accomplish this? Its easy. Click this link and like and share the hell out of this Facebook page. Tell all your metal friends to do the same. Comment on the page repeatedly. If we get a million likes, then maybe the NFL will notice. Once we get to 500,000 REAL likes (meaning I am not going to enlist fake likes the way some people do) I will send the NFL an email a week until I get a reply. I'll post the contact info as well so that everyone can email.

You might think that I'm wasting my time because not everyone likes metal. You're wrong for several reasons. One, not everyone likes bubblegum pop garbage either. Katy Perry's huge tiger was cool, but her music sucks. How in the can you use the 'Eye of the Tiger' line in a song??? Next, is she going to come out with a song talking about being 'Comfortably Numb' on a 'Stairway to Heaven? Come on now. Anyway, let me get back on track here. There are just as many country fans in the US than there are metal fans. But, country fans actually LIKE Metallica. Seriously. One night years ago, I went to a country concert with a friend who had an extra ticket. The headliner took the stage at 9PM. (NINE? WTF?))) That was my reaction too. But after the early show ended, the cowfolk line danced the night away. One of the songs that they danced to was Enter Sandman by Metallica. No joke. They had a routine that looked like puppets on strings (MASTER!!!) and it really did twist my mind and smash my brain.

Say your prayers, little one, don't forget my son
to include every one!!!
Anyway, my point of that last paragraph was that even though we can't stand pop music, we all watched the rest of the half time show after we took a piss and grabbed some more beer and hot wings. Need proof? How many of you saw Janet Jackson's boob live? I know I did. But on the flip side of that coin, pop heads and country fans will watch a metal band if its on the halftime show. AND, the show would get enormous ratings which could pave the way for future metal bands to get the call.

Plus, metal is kicking its way into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
The time is right to do this, but it doesn't matter. Which conquering army ever asked permission to invade?

You know you were watching!
Don't lie!

So, I am calling the metalheads to action! Let's get this done, and bitch slap the corporate douchebags in the record industry by demanding a metal band on the world's biggest stage! Lets get it done. Let's show the world that metal is more relevant than all this candy ass pop. I'd bet that Powerslave by Iron Maiden has sold more copies than all of Katy Perry's albums combined.

Hey, NFL..You will do what the fans say
when the fans say!!!
So, let's do this!!! Don't disregard this post and Facebook page as just another fan page. It isn't! Its a call to action to all metal lovers not just in the US, but the world. The NFL wants a team in London? I'm looking at you British metalheads too! Up the Irons! Summon the Metal Gods, and lets shove some metal up the NFL's ass!!!

"It has to start somewhere, It has to start some time. What better place than here? What better time than NOW???"

If you don't get on board, don't bitch about lame halftime shows. Its as simple as that.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Too Big For The Will and Thunder Show

There are a handful of guests that have booked on the Will and Thunder Show, and bailed without letting us know. And, they are all 80's rock/metal bands that WERE big, and apparently think they are every bit as big now as they were in the 80's. Here, we salute the bands who are too big for the show.

NOTE: this is not a slap at the band members. I was not dealing with the bands, but rather a manager. I imagine the band members would never have acted this way.

Bullet Boys: We not only had them booked, we had them on a special night to accommodate their schedule. So, on a special night, we waited, and no call, no show. Thanks, guys! I spoke with a band member via Twitter, and he told me that Marq Torien never even knew about the interview. Great management, huh?

Killer Dwarfs: I had been in regular contact with one of their managers. At first, he was friendly and seemed like he was going to come through with the band. All of a sudden, emails became one word answers, and then stopped altogether. Even though the manager had not cancelled, we booked another guest anyway. Of course, there was no call from the band.

Krokus: I sent them a request for an interview, and got a quick reply back, explaining that Krokus was a ROCK band, and not a METAL band, and that he had looked through our archive, and didn't recognize any names there. He also said that our show was not the band's market. I guess he didn't look very hard because if he had, he would have seen Helix, as well as enormous local/regional bands like 3D In Your Face, Wicked, and Scarlett Gypsy, all of which are 80's style authentic glam rock bands. We've also had Pamela Moore, aka Suite Sister Mary on Queensryche's Operation: Mindcrime album. Whether the show fits Krokus's market or not, they have a new album out, and are gearing up for a US tour. You'd think they'd want to promote it.

And you arrrre???
So, there you go. 3 bands whose management thinks the bands are still playing sold out arenas and stadiums, and are too big for a little show like ours. We have had a jerky "manager" from an unsigned band too, but that was only one out of many. I can't even remember their name anymore. Hopefully, this list doesn't grow anymore, but if it does, I'll post the bands here. These managers need to know that any publicity is good publicity, and these days, the bands need all the publicity they can get. We are available to everyone, and while we are not That Metal Show, we may very well get there in time.

Like I said, this is not a jab at the guys IN the bands. Just their management who thinks their clients are above doing a show that isn't nationally syndicated or on VH-1. And, the door is still open for any band listed here. Like I said, I have nothing against the bands. I was and still am fans of those listed, and would see any of them in concert.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Chronic Douche-Baggery: The Strange Case of Kanye West

Kanye Kanye Kanye! You, sir have some issues. At this point, I'm not saying anything that hasn't already been said, but I might! Yeah, I was a little late to the party, but I still have to get this off my chest in my own words. Yes, I'm talking about the douchebag coming onstage at the Grammys when Beck was accepting his award, and the madness that ensued afterwards.

Let me first start off by saying that I am not a Beck fan. So, this piece will have nothing to do with me rushing to defend the honor of someone I'm a fan of. But, he is a gifted musician who not only plays multiple instruments, he also writes his own songs. Something that Beyonce does not do.

So, Kanye confronts Beck on stage, and at first it seemed like he was going to make a spoof of his infamous incident with Taylor Swift. That would have been bad enough, even if he hadn't opened his fly trap of a mouth after the show. This was Beck's moment, but Kanye is such an ego maniacal, narcissistic, pompous ass sociopath that he decided that he had to inject himself into the spotlight. He then said that Beck should "respect the artistry" and give Beyonce his award.

George Bush doesn't like douchebags and neither
does Barack 0bama.
So, let's break this down shall we? Kanye first came onto the scene where he was widely labeled as a douchebag back in 2005 in the post Hurricane Katrina relief effort where he was supposed to be doing a PSA with Mike Myers of SNL. Instead of saying his lines, he went off playing the race card, stating that "George Bush doesn't like black people." He went away after that for a while, but came roaring back in 2009 when he interrupted Taylor Swift at the VMAs, saying that Beyonce had the greatest video of all time. Afterwards, President 0bama was captured on tape commenting on the incident, calling Kanye a "Jackass." The next 12 to 14 months were great because Kanye went into hiding. You have to imagine that Kanye was crushed and devestated by being dissed by his Messiah. That was probably the only thing that 0bama has ever said that I agree with. Kanye then went on several ego maniacal rants about how great he thinks he is, culminating with the Paul McCartney duet, where his fans tweeted that this Paul McCartney guy should thank Kanye for launching his career. Later, it was said that those tweets were just a joke, but I don't believe any of that. I think that Kanye orchestrated that whole story just to inflate his over inflated ego. Then, we get his latest pile of crap with Beck.

Beck responded from this with class, saying that he respected Kanye. That was likely Beck just being Beck. I think he made that comment in sarcasm. But really, how long has Kanye been around? He first came onto the scene in 2001. I can remember Beck's first single, Loser in 1993 or 1994. That album went platinum. Since then, Beck has assembled a very loyal following, similar to Grateful Dead and Phish fans.

You're a loser, Kanye, now
get off of my stage!
Now, is Kanye a talented guy? Debatable. He's won 21 Grammys, and directed films. He does write his own "songs." He even stopped using auto tune, which is something EVERYONE should do....although he can't sing worth a damn. So, even though I don't like his style of music, even I am capable of giving credit where its due, no matter how LITTLE credit is due. However, that all goes out the window because of his chronic douche-baggery. And, marrying the Kardashian twit doesn't help his case.

But the question here is what is the deal with this obsession with Beyonce? Respect the artistry? How about Beyonce and Kanye respecting Beck's artistry? How about Beyonce writing her own material? My guess is that would go over as well as Milli Vanilli singing with their own voices. And while we're at it, why doesn't Kanye respect Taylor Swift's artistry? She has been writing her own songs from the start. Beyonce is a great singer, but she is nothing more than a teleprompter reader with music. There's nothing original about it. You have Beck who is the lone writer of his songs, both musically and lyrically and you have Beyonce who has a team of writers making pointless R&B and pop garbage that will be irrelevant in 5 years after they've been milked for all they're worth. You also have Beck who goes onstage with a full band, and you have Beyonce who goes on stage with a group of dancers with microphones. Any music is played through the PA system. Why is lip synching so despised, but singers with no bands are not? Its the same thing!
DRUM SOLO!!! DRUM SOLO!!! Wait..Where's the drum set?
So, my question is simply this: Why in the hell is Kanye so obsessed with Beyonce to the point that he feels he needs to rush to her aid? Musically, Beyonce is nowhere near the same league as Beck, Taylor Swift, or even Kanye West for that matter. So, what is behind this borderline stalking?

I'd love to get him on the Night Time Fiasco <ca-ching!> so I can ask him. What do you say, Kanye?

I agree with such greats as Paul Stanley,  Steel Panther and others this issue.

UPDATE: I reviewed his piece of crap album. Click here.