Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Check Please: Stories of Abandoned Dates

We all have them...Stories from dates in the past. Good stories, bad stories, funny stories, or just plain old interesting stories. Here are a few of mine from my single days. Nights where I walked out on my date for various reasons. Hopefully you find these as interesting as I do.

We'll start with 2 dates that I bailed on. Yep. A guy who actually walked out on a date. I was working as a photographer in Hilton Head, SC. I had a gig where I would take boarding photos of people for a dinner cruise with the lighthouse in the background of the photo. I would go get the photos printed, and sell them when the cruise got back. There is a bar close by where I was a regular. I adored one of the waitresses there, and had been flirting with her for about a week, and the other waiters and bar tenders were telling her that I was cool and to calm down and go out with me. One day, she was working a day shift, and I showed up for some food before I went to take my pictures. There was a concert that same night that she was going to closeby. I asked her if she wanted to go out after I got done. She said she was going to the concert, but would meet me at this bar after the show, about 10:00 and we would go out. I got done with my photos, and went to the bar to wait for her. The bartender told me that she was excited about going out with me. Well, the show ended, and she came over to the bar, but she was 3 sheets to the wind, sloppy, staggering drunk. We went to a different bar, and the whole time, she was blurting out things like "HEEEE LIIIIKES MEEEE!!! AND I LIIIIKE HIMMMMMM! She also started beating on my back for some reason. Then, she fell on her ass. I asked the bartender if anybody there knew her. The bartender said he knew her, and would call her roommate and have her come pick her up. I thanked him, and left. I saw her the next day when I worked. She was embarrassed, and apologized. I told her it was ok, and we stayed friends, but neither of us asked the other out again.
Frank, I's gonna tell you somethin I've
 NEEVER told a guy
before...I REALLY love horsies!

I get that everybody has gotten schnockered, and made fools out of themselves. I have on more than one occasion. But, I've never done it on a first date. I've been told by guys after telling this story that I was an idiot for turning down a sure thing as far as getting laid that night. Seriously? Since my early 20's, I have never been so desperate for sex that I would put up with someone acting like a moron and embarrassing me.

Another quick story before I continue that I just reminded myself of...I was at a bar one night, and there was a woman who was blitzed, and didn't realize that she was about to get her ass kicked by another woman. She got kicked out of the bar, but started screaming that she didn't have a ride. The bartender said she was about to call the police. I was ready to go to another bar to meet some people, and I told her to come with me before she got arrested. She did. The whole ride there, she was talking about suing the bar. I was going to get her some coffee, and if she calmed down, maybe try for a little company for the night. (she was really hot.) I met up with my friends, and got her some coffee. She then blew up on me, calling me names, while telling me that I was going to testify at her hearing when she sued the other bar. I tried to get her to calm down, and finally, I had enough. I simply told her to go away. Once she realized I was serious, she got real quiet and sat down at the bar alone, while my friends laughed hysterically. 

Once again, Not going to take being screamed at by some chick just to get a little action.

The next story started the same way most do. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl out, girl says yes...but the rest rarely happens, as the reaction from friends proves. People just can't believe that a guy would walk out on a date with a pretty girl. Anyway, we decided to go out for drinks the next night. We were sitting at the bar, talking when she saw some friends. She said she would be right back. She came back, when her drink was empty. This went on for about 30 minutes. I had enough, and went to the table, and said that I had to get something from my car, and I would be right back. She had left a bag in the car. I grabbed it, came back in, and gave it to her, and told her I was gone. She was puzzled, saying she was just about to come back . The 2 guys she was sitting with were intimidated. I'm 6'4" and 230 lbs. One said "Hey man, I didn't know she was with you, and I don't want any problems." I told him that I had no problems with him, and I just wanted to give her back her bag, and they could have her. I walked out, and she followed, trying to talk to me but I kept walking. I got into my car and drove away. I ran into her a few days later, and she tried to apologize. I asked her if she had gotten home safely, and walked away again.

People have actually told me that I was rude, and in the wrong here. I want to know why. Sure, I made a scene, but the scene was "Do NOT Screw with me." If I had walked up to her and asked her to please stop ignoring me, I would have been a laughing stock for the two guys she was sitting with. Instead, they were both scared of me. So, seriously, who was in the wrong here? Her or me?

Seriously though, let me analyze the two for you. There are differences in what both women did. For example, the second one, we didn't know each other. I literally met her the first day, and asked her out on the spot. I didn't know her from anyone. So, when I ditched her, I had no history with her whatsoever. I wasn't mad at her after the fact, but I also didn't want to waste my time with her. In my opinion, her trying to apologize to me days later meant to me that she wanted to try again. I did not, so I was rude to her because I didn't feel like explaining it. She knew what she did, so wasting my time by letting her apologize could have given her the wrong idea about my intentions, which is why I walked away. 

The first one, I had a friendship more or less before we went out. I had known her for about a month and a half, but I started flirting with her about a week before formally asking her out. She got drunk, and made an ass out of herself. It happens. I've been on the opposite side of this coin as well. So, I wasn't mad at her when that happened, but I also didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who went that crazy with the booze. 

Next, here's a story where I got walked out on... I was 18 or 19. I had just broken up with a girl. She was crazy, and I do mean crazy. Follow you like a lost puppy crazy...Collect the hair out of your hairbrush crazy...Together less than a month, and talking about marriage and children crazy...Wants to completely isolate you from the world crazy...You get the picture. 

Anyway, she of course was devastated, and couldn't live without me. She was constantly trying to get me to take her back.  One day, I got a phone call. It was one of her friends who asked me out to dinner. I was not into this friend at all, and I suspected something was up. The first half of the dinner, she was talking about the girl I had broken up with. I was right. It was a setup to try to get me to feel nostalgic and take my ex back. 

Finally, I put the brakes on it by saying that I didn't want to talk about my ex anymore. I wanted to talk about the two of us. I started to get close to her, put my arm around her, and tried to kiss her. She kept trying to talk about how I should go back to the ex, so I grabbed her in a gentle but firm way, and kissed her on the mouth. That did it. She slapped me, and left and called someone to pick her up. My plan worked, my ex's plan backfired, and I never heard from either of them again.

What kind of friend sends another friend to do that? I tell you, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the two of them talked next.

And now, the finale. I saved the best for last. This wasn't a date in the typical sense. I was married to my first wife at the time, and I went to a friend's bar by myself to hang out with my buddy, who was working that night. We were talking, when all of a sudden, a rather attractive woman sat down next to me, and started talking to me. The bar started getting busy, and my friend had to get to work making drinks. This woman started buying me drink after drink, and I noticed her look at my wedding band several times. I continued to talk to her, and every so often, she would lean in and try to kiss me. I stopped her every time, saying that I didn't like to make out in public. She laughed and called me a tease. Finally, the night started drawing to a close. I was starting to wonder how I was going to get out of this. (I never cheat.) Then, an opportunity presented itself. She said she needed to use the restroom, but she assumed we were going back to her place together. I said yes, and winked at her. She got up, and I looked at my friend and said "Later bud!" He laughed, and shook his head. The next time I went to that bar, my friend told me that when she came out of the bathroom and realized that I had left, she was furious.

So, there you guys go. To all of you who have spent an entire evening at a bar, buying drinks for a woman you just met, only to have her ditch you at the end of the night, I did that for YOU! Its happened to me, and I'm sure its happened to the rest of you. So, raise your drinks, and toast! I toast the brotherhood of men. I have avenged all of you! And, it was SO worth it. Once again, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall.

One last thing, guys...You owe me a beer for doing that for you. You're welcome! 

I hope you all enjoyed these stories. I sure had fun reliving them as I told them. Let's hear yours in the replies!

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