Saturday, November 9, 2013

Late Movie review: The Purge

You are depriving me of my right to purge!!!

I don't bother seeing movies in the theater anymore. Since 2006, I have seen 6 movies in the theater. The 4 Transformers movies, 2009 Star Trek and Star Trek Into Darkness. I am just not into paying good money for overpriced popcorn and soda to sit in a room with a bunch of kids yelling back and forth at each other. Add to that the fact that my hearing isn't all that great due to 15+ years of playing in heavy metal bands, and never wearing earplugs, my movie going experience is less than stellar. So, I wait until they come out on DVD, and watch them at home where I can pause the movie, and use closed captioning. I can also stretch out and get comfortable.

So, I like talking about movies, and I figured I shouldn't be excluded from reviewing them just because they are a couple months behind everyone else, so my reviews might be a little late. No worries. The beauty of this is that the reviews could be a couple months late, or a couple DECADES late!

Last night, I watched The Purge, and if I could, I would purge that movie from my memory. Some people loved this movie, but to me, it was just the same old home invasion movie with a twist...This time, it is LEGAL!!!

We start off with a near future realization that there is no crime, and unemployment is at 1%. And, we have the so called 'New Founders of the United States of America' to thank for this. The reason? Once a year, all crime is legal, including murder for 12 hours to purge all violent thought from everyone's head. BUT, like every "brilliant" law, politicians are exempt from the purge. Much like 0bamacare! Damn, I love our government coming up with all these great laws that are great for all of us, but for some reason, our "they" are exempt. Hollywood unknowingly parodied their beloved boy king, 0bama with this part of the movie.

But, the ridiculousness doesn't end there. The news broadcasters wish God's mercy on the people who are involved in the purge, and pray that "God be with everyone" on this night. When was the last time a politician or a news caster even acknowledged God, other than to say how wrong and illegal it was to bring Him up? (Unless its Allah, then its ok) Think that will change anytime soon? The reporters also repeatedly say things like "Praise the new Founders of America!" That's also funny because if you've watched the news lately, all the reporters do is worship our tyrannical government like they are gods.

Want to know about the people who are killed during The Purge? They are chalked up as an acceptable sacrifice for the greater good. The This movie isn't a scary entertainment piece. Its a wish list for the political left in this country.

Uncle Joe's got it right. PEW PEW PEW!

Notice his dog tags? He is a veteran.
The newscasters also say several times how they are excited to expect the "best purge so far" this year...which means the most people killed. I would have liked to have seen a scene where they showed someone getting "purged" and have that person be a close friend or relative of the reporter. Think they would be so giddy then? Also, with all crime including murder being legal, I suppose if someone wanted to rape and kill a 3 year old kid, that would be ok too? While I am surprised that a typical Hollywood director let all of this go without editing it, one thing in this film that does NOT surprise me is that a man winds up being let into the house of the stars of the story. He is being chased by a group of preppie douchebags who are angry because he killed one of their group in self defense while they were trying to kill him. As if they want you to sit back and let a criminal kill you for no reason, and if you dare defend yourself, you deserve to die even more. (Just buy a shotgun!) But, this man who was being hunted was a veteran. How fitting? A movie with a preppy college mob chasing down and wanting to kill a US veteran? And they also show this veteran being tortured. Stay classy, Hollywood!

But what is possibly the most ridiculous part of this film, the people doing the murdering think that it is some type of entitlement. Several times in the movie, the killers would say things like "You are denying me my right to purge!!!" Only a brainwashed society would actually believe that they have a right over your life, and get angry if you try to defend yourself. It would take an uber medicated society, and a grossly sculpted entitlement system that would have to be many generations old, plus activists teaching classes instead of teachers in order for something like this to happen.

You know, this movie could have been better. they could have showed a group of people trying to get home during the purge because their car broke down right before it began. Although, that movie has been done before.

And, as if this movie wasn't awful enough, I have a question for you:

Which of these scenes came from The Purge?
And while I'm sure each one of you who saw the movie recently got it right but 10 years from now, you probably won't remember. As I said before, there are so many home invasion movies that are exactly the same thing, what is the point? I guess the point is that the little twist of "ITS LEGAL OH MY GOD!!!" worked for enough people that we get the privilege of another piece of cinematic gold. garbage. The Purge 2. Oh goody! I bet that it will be like my description of what this movie could have been. But in the meantime, while we anxiously await The Purge 2, we will undoubtedly be subjected to 20 different home invasion movies, all wanting to cash in on the success of The Purge. Much like when they remade Last House on the Left, the copycat movies 'The House at the End of the Street' and 'Last House on the Right' we will have 'Hate Purge' and 'Channeled Aggression' and the straight to DVD release, Hate Purge 2: The Slumber Party.

Basically, don't waste your time and money on this film. It sucked. I'm done.

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