Friday, December 16, 2011

MTV's Teen Mom? What message is it REALLY sending?

We're all very rich now because 
we got knocked up in 
high school. We're stars!

Teen Mom is a show on MTV where a camera crew follows the so called trials and tribulations of unwed teenage mothers. I use the phrase 'so called' because the last time I checked, there were no camera crews following ordinary families around, but whatever.

There are things I have read and seen about this show that make me believe that if a teenager even applies to be on it, their kid should be taken away for child abuse. How do I know about this show? My wife watches it all the damn time. I have seen a girl literally beating the snot out of her baby daddy. I have seen these twits in screaming matches that get physical with their own parents.

On the surface, it seems like the show is showing how hard it is to raise a kid as a teenager...or at least that's what MTV would like you to believe. Why do I say that? My wife was watching a newscast about one of the cast, and the reporter let this little tidbit out...You might want to grab a chair and sit down...These twits make 6 figure incomes off of this stupid show. So, the scenes where they are living in tiny trailers? All crap. The scenes where the parents kick the kids out of the house? All crap. The scenes where they are crying, wondering how they are going to get their diapers, baby food, etc? You guessed it...All CRAP!

Hey MTV...Want to put on a real show? Don't pay these losers a dime. Give them their 15 minutes of fame, but let them figure out what life is REALLY like. I never knew how much these idiots made until tonight. In fact this stupid show was what made me start a commentary blog with my own opinions about the world we live in, in addition to my other comedy and parody blogs.

So, you have this show on MTV, showing what it is supposed to be like. Meanwhile, word gets out about how much these kids are making. So, answer this for me, MTV...How many teenage girls got themselves knocked up JUST to try to be on that show? You can't answer that, but I bet they are out there. These twits are all over the tabloids, and being treated like real movie stars and such. This is worse than those Jersey Shore morons. This is rewarding stupidity.

And, what is worse? The parents of these teenagers allowed this. You can't sign a contract under the age of 18 without parental consent. So, the parents are enablers. The parents are as much to blame for this as the young couple who got knocked up in the first place.

Now, don't go telling me "But Bill, you're just being unreasonable. Teenagers are going to have sex!" Of course I know that. I'm not stupid, but if I had knocked up a girl at 16, then told my dad that on top of the news that he was going to be a grandfather, I wanted to bring in a camera crew to film everything, and pay me 6 figures, he would have kicked my ass into next month. He would not have allowed me to bring that show into our home. And, he would have made me work more. Yes, I said more. I was working close to 40 hours a week while I was in high school. THAT is what is missing today. Parents are encouraging this type of mentality. They see the CA$H and don't give a second thought to the message this sends out, and how it could actually ruin a child's life.

So, keep on it, MTV. Maybe one of the show's producer's daughters will get knocked up at 14 years old. If does happen, I hope the producer HATES the baby daddy.

What if the events in A Christmas Story happened in this day and age?

You'll shoot your eye out!

A Christmas Story is a great classic Christmas film. Very well written and acted. You all know what it is about, so I won't get into the details about the film. I was thinking however, what would have happened if A Christmas Story had been released today? Or even, what would have happened if any of the events in the movie happened today in our warped reality of hypersensitive political correctness run amok?  1, the movie would have never been funded. 2, if it had, it would have been ripped to shreds by the PC Police. So, lets examine:

What if 'A Christmas Story' had been released or happened today?

Ralphie would have been sent to counseling for even wanting a BB gun, and would have been made to write a 1000 word essay on why guns are evil.

After the kid got his tongue stuck on the pole, the class would have been made to watch 'An Inconvenient Truth' to show the kids that they caused global warming due to the carbon footprint left as a result of the fire department and police department having to be called...And, the school would have been put on lockdown.

When the leg lamp was delivered, Ralphie and his brother would have been sat down, and told that their curiosity about sex was ok, and it was also ok to express themselves about it. They would have also been told that if they did not have feelings caused by the female leg, it was also ok, even they would have rather seen a man's leg.

The teacher, grading the papers would have been suspended with pay because the F's would have made the stupid kids feel inferior. She would not have been fired, because teachers unions don't allow teachers to be fired.

When they were buying a Christmas Tree, the ACLU would have showed up to file a lawsuit against the tree salesman for being insensitive to atheists  Muslims, etc for not calling it a 'holiday tree' Also, the adult Ralphie would have had a lawsuit filed against him for the stereotypical 'Arab Trader' remark.

After saying the F word, the punishments he listed would sure have listed water boarding. Not to mention, the government would have been called to take away Ralphie and arrest the parents for child abuse for the soap in the mouth...not to mention the kid who got spanked.

When Ralphie gave the teacher a fruit basket, the teacher would have either had him expelled, for inappropriate gift giving, or she would have had sex with him.

When the lamp was broken, and the father buried it, the environmentalists would have been there to fine him for burying plastic in the fragile ecosystem.

When Ralphie beat up the bully, the bully's parents would have sued Ralphie's parents, the school, as well as the parents of all the kids who watched the fight.

And, who can forget Santa offending all the ho's by saying "ho ho ho!"

And, not to mention that when he did shoot himself, the NRA would have been blamed for the accident, Red Ryder would have been sued for 3.5 million dollars.

So, tis the season to be PC. If it pisses you off like it does me, you can attack it like I do. Someone says "You have a happy holiday!" to you, just smile and say "You just killed an elf." and walk away. 

If you enjoyed this, send it to a friend who you think would enjoy it. If it pissed you off, GOOD! Send it to other people who would be offended by it. You all need to be offended.

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas to all!