Sunday, December 10, 2017

Heavy Metal Christmas! Geezer Style!

Ms J: Drums, Harvey Geezer: Vocals, Calvin Sizemore: 4 String Guitar
Leonard Geezer: Guitar and annoyed grunts, Lil Shoogie: Gangsta backup vox

Heavy Metal Christmas,
Rocking in the New Year!
Heavy Metal Christmas,
Show no doubt, show no fear!

When I first heard the dynamic super punk band from Miami, Geezer, I knew they were something special. I saw more energy from them (a band from a nursing home in Miami, FL where the youngest member was over 70 years old.) than I have from bands that are young enough to be their great grandchildren. I was worried yet confident that they would bounce back following the tragic death of drummer, Victor Farnsworth. The band delivered! They had an orderly fill in on the drums for a while, until they found a permanent replacement, Ms J. I can't decide if she's gorgeous or hideous, but I digress. 

Like I mentioned, the band delivers. And they continue to deliver. I've never heard of a band that takes each milestone that they achieve, or challenge that presents itself and beats them into submission with a cane, while challenging the next challenge to bring it on. But, you get used to it when you follow this band. 

Hey, Shoogie...Call me! I think Harvey has my number!

But, what milestone have they achieved now? This is impressive. This punk band has crossed over into the dark realms of heavy metal. Yep. They have released 2 Christmas songs that are available on CD Baby. A very creative punk version of Jingle Bells, that pays homage to Slayer, as well as an original song called Heavy Metal Christmas. That song blew my mind completely. Deep dark metal guitar riffs that pull influence from the young heavy metal whippersnappers in Black Sabbath. Guitarist, Leonard Geezer delivers a stunning lead guitar solo, and the song is just ominous and dark. But, while on the surface, its a classic metal masterpiece, the lyrics are just as cheerful and joyful as everything else we've come to expect from Geezer. 

Yep. That's what Heavy
Metal Christmas is.

So, go to CD baby right now, and buy these two tracks. You'll be a hit at your family Christmas party when you play these songs after a nice scrumptious dinner. When the Geezer Christmas CD comes out, it will take its place proudly in my CD rack along with Transiberian Orchestra, and A Twisted Christmas. 

Geezer has hit yet another home run in their quest to achieve rock super stardom. You gotta have a crossover song, right? Well, Heavy Metal Christmas is a punk into metal crossover, so there you go. Geezer: Doing it RIGHT!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Geezer Links:

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Hide Your Lawnmowers! Dead Serios is Back???

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Could it be? Central Florida comedy punk metal legends, Dead Serios are going to record a new album? That would be a quadruple badass surgery on my senses. That would make my year! My favorite band of all time coming (once again) out of retirement to show everyone how its done! This needs to happen! 

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Bear with me for a moment. Let me reminisce for a moment! I remember my long time best friend at one of their shows in the 90's, during their hit song 'Lawn Care Studs' going, and grabbing a REAL lawnmower, firing it up, and moshing around the pit with it as lead singer, DL Serios led the pit with his sacrificial Playschool lawnmower. I remember seeing 1500 people pack out the Power Station in Melbourne Florida to see the band open for a national touring act, and half the audience leaving after their set, leaving the national band wondering where half the crowd went. 

Dead Serios was the band that every local band wanted to be. They were loud, obnoxious, funny, and extremely talented, and EVERYONE loved them, and still does. You couldn't see them in concert for the first time and not love them. DL Serios is one of the greatest frontmen to ever step on the stage. Bassist, Joe Delcorvo is among the skill set of Steve Harris. Guitarist, Doug Gibson is an upper echelon shredder, who could easily match up with some of the worldwide greats. Drummer, Scooter Greenbud is one of the best drummers in Central Florida, and could fill in for any national band. So, am I excited about this possibility? You betcha!

Anyway, here's the story. Record label, Ghoul Tone Records, who released the Dead Serios tribute album in 2015 has contacted the band, asking them to record a new album. They are also re-releasing the entire Dead Serios catalog, completely remastered! SWEET! And, I was just thinking about asking DL for a bunch of the classic songs on MP3. So, I'm stoked. Now, I'll be able to get ALL of them! And, you will too. Now, we just have to convince the band to play more shows. We all need this. We need the standard setter for local bands back in action. Central Florida needs it. If the band can win enough new fans, we would have packed local shows again. 

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We NEED this!
Almost as much as we need Ozzy!

So, at this point, all we can do is hope. We'll probably get a new album, and the remastered catalog. But, in the meantime, here is the original version of the Dead Serios classic, Ranks of the Unemployed. Enjoy!

Yes, I'm a giddy little fangirl over the POSSIBILITY of a Dead Serios reunion.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Its Gerald's Tower! A Tale of 3 King Movies

There's a winning formula.
Its right there, if you
just keep your eyes open
Ok, as a long time Stephen King fan (minus his idiotic jabs at our president) I've seen many of his books adapted into movies for both TV and the movie theater. Most of them have not been that good, with a few exceptions, like The Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption, and a couple others. As good as the original TV series, 'It' was, it was actually pretty cheesy, with the only redeeming thing being the talent of Tim Curry as Pennywise. But, this year has been a gold mine for King, with 3 movies, and several TV series. We're going to talk about the movies "It, Gerald's Game, and The Dark Tower" because they were all big budget hits. Even though Gerald's Game was a Netflix movie, it could have easily been on the screen because its production value was equal to the other two.
There are spoilers coming!
We'll start first with It because its the biggest blockbuster of the three, and rightfully so. It was brilliantly done, and while it didn't follow the book verbatim, it made its own formula that worked. The book, and the first movie takes place while the group of kids as adults looking back and remembering events that took place during their first brush with Pennywise, the evil monster who eats kids to stay alive. What the 2017 version does is make it all take place when the kids were kids. No flashbacks. The next movie will cover the events as they are adults, returning to take Pennywise down once and for all. It was a great movie, and I imagine the next installment will be equally good. So, while this movie doesn't follow the book as written, it follows the book in content, just in a different order, which is a good thing. And, sorry, Mr. Curry...Bill Skarsgard owned the character. As much as it pains me to say it. Grade: A-
Next, we're going to talk about Gerald's Game. When I first heard they were doing this movie, I was skeptical. Most of the movie is a woman cuffed to a bed, with her fears manifesting themselves in her mind. I wasn't sure how it could be interesting. Well, leave it to Netflix, because they hit a home run. This movie follows the book verbatim. And, we see her memories, and hallucinations. There were a couple scenes from the book that were left out, but nothing that effected the quality of the story, unlike Cell which was careful to leave out anything cool and interesting that happened in the book. Grade: B+ 
Say it aint so!
And finally, we come to the last of the 3. I guess you could say that I saved the worst for last.  The Dark Tower series should be done AS A SERIES by HBO or Netflix. Period. Its too complex for a movie. Even for a series of movies. For one thing, the Roland character, played by Idris Elba is not black. If you've read the books, you know that I'm not making a racist statement by saying that. Just imagine a black character calling another black character 'Honkey.' It just doesn't work. Plus, several key characters were left out, and the one that they do use, Jake is nothing but a pawn in the books. There are 2 other characters who contribute much more to the story. Also, the "Forgotton the face of his father" chants that Roland and Jake recite. If you've never read the books, that makes no sense to you, and seems kind of silly. The 'Man in Black' played by Matthew McConaughey is in a struggle with Roland, but it doesn't end the way it does in the movie. Not even close. And, honestly, when I first heard about this movie, I figured McConaughey would be playing Roland. That would have fit, honestly. And, the Dark Tower itself is not remotely represented in the movie as it is in the books. Not even close. This movie is nothing more than Stargate meets Inception. Avoid this one if you haven't seen it yet. Grade: F
So, what's this formula? Its easy, Hollywood. JUST FOLLOW THE DAMN BOOKS! Look at It and Gerald's Game. They followed the books, and are critically acclaimed blockbusters. The Dark Tower was a flop. Look at the other movies that were huge successes: Christine, Cujo, the 2 I mentioned earlier, and others. What do they have in common? They followed the books, and are considered classics. The Lawnmower Man? The Mangler? Not so much. Just follow the books, and you'll get it right! It isn't that complicated!

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

A Tale of 2 Sci Fi Shows: Orville vs Discovery

One of these shows
truly captures the
spirit of Star Trek...
The other does not.

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I am a huge sci fi geek. I was raised on Star Trek Original Series reruns long before Star Trek: The Next Generation came out. But, Paramount has simply not been able to get it right in a long time. These rebooted Star Trek movies are horrible, and they pulled the plug on the Enterprise series in season 4, right when the show found its stride. So, they have created an all new show, Star Trek: Discovery, set before the events of The Original Series. Yep. A prequel of all things. Now, I'm not going to sit here and gripe about how the tech of today looks different from tech created in the 60's. That's a given, and to anyone who would gripe about that, I have one word for you. "DUH!" I'm going to do you a favor, and talk about the show itself, its characters and story lines.

Discovery cast

On the other side of the coin, Family Guy creator, Seth McFarlane has created a sci fi show called The Orville. It was billed as a spoof of Star Trek, with humor and antics that you'd expect from McFarlane. Did he overdo it? Did he get it right? Read on.

Orville cast

So, let's first start talking about the 6th official Star Trek series, Star Trek: Discovery. Minor spoilers ahead. First off, the series takes place several years before The Original Series. Any trekkie knows that the Klingon War takes place during that time frame. However, this series obliterates any of the canon that was established during Enterprise. For example, the lead up to the Klingon war, and the elephant in the room, the forehead ridges on the Klingons. Enterprise brilliantly explained why they looked so different in the Original Series vs how they look in the rest of Trek. That story is not only gone, but the Klingons look nothing like (or act nothing like) the Klingons of the older series...which in my opinion were the most badass looking. And, it gets worse from there.

You're saying we now look like
Ahh yes.
We demand honor!
If everyone politely agrees!

The story is of a first officer who committed mutiny against her captain in a standoff with the Klingons. Her mutiny failed, but had it succeeded, Starfleet likely would not be involved in a war. The captain of her first ship is such a wuss, that you are actually wanting her to get killed off. This is a major problem with this series. You can't get attached to any of these characters. There's nothing redeeming about any of them. But, our main character, (Michael Burnham...a female) the aforementioned first officer who committed mutiny is sentenced to life in prison, but is transferred to the USS Discovery, a science vessel that is no longer a science vessel. Its now a war vessel because Starfleet is at war.

YES, my name is Michael
YES, I'm a GIRL!

The whole premise is flawed. This series mentions that they have had contact with the Klingons for a while, but there is little known about them. Any Trekkie knows that this is total bullshit. Paramount and CBS are trying to show the Klingon war. And, there is nothing wrong with that, other than the fact that the writers seem to have never seen an older Trek episode in their lives. It really shows.

Personally, I liked Enterprise alot, but many critics said that it was dark and morbid...which it was, but with the exception of season 3, it really was Star Trek. Discovery seems to be just a war story with lots of over bearing CGI, lens flare, and explosions. It seems ironic that a show called "Discovery" is turning out to be yet another dystonian sci fi series where everything is WAR!

I mentioned the Klingons, and how they look nothing like the badass Klingons of previous series. I also mentioned overkill of CGI. Remember how the ships of the previous Trek series looked elegant and big? Well throw that out the window. Star Trek: Discovery has taken tips from the Transformers movies, and shown you so much CGI that you can't even tell what you're looking at. Take a look at this pic. Can you see anything???

Me either.

So, now that we have that out of the way, let's move on, shall we? The Orville.

Right off the bat, if you've watched ONE episode each of both these shows, you know that The Orville is a much brighter, and upbeat show. Its sci fi, but with fun, and honestly, its a realistic look at how Star Trek would be in real life. It has a chain of command, but its officers are allowed to be themselves. For example, in one episode, the captain calls for one of the bridge crew, who is in his quarters. The announcing officer says (paraphrasing) "Hey, Bortis, the captain says to get your ass up here." There are comedy breaks, but the feel of the show is exploration and...discovery. Hmmm!

Seth Mcfarlane takes jabs at everyone. And, speaking as a conservative, its refreshing to see that he is really giving his all to make this a great sci fi series. He could easily use this show to advance his liberal beliefs. But, he doesn't. In fact, there's an episode where he actually takes a view that opposes the liberal template. The storylines are very much Star Trek. This isn't a show (so far) that takes on an arc, like STD. Yes, I went there. Its an episodic roller coaster ride, with a fresh new story each week, with the crew learning something new after a white knuckle, brush with disaster. Sound familiar? The Orville is Star Trek!

The Orville uses a model.
Trek hasn't done that in years.
Models look SO much better than CGI.
What's not to love? Aliens, mistakes by the crew, practical jokes, and the wisdom that Gene Roddenberry made famous before his death. He would be proud of this series, and less of Star Trek: Discovery. For simply obvious reasons, the character development is MUCH better. I know more about every character of Orville in 6 episodes than I do of Discovery after the same amount of episodes.

So, while CBS is charging people to watch a crappy Star Trek series, Fox is giving you a real one for free. So, if you're unable to process the data handed out in this post, there is a new Star Trek series, however, a show that was intended as a Trek spoof is more Star Trek than an actual Star Trek series.

It pains me to say that, but its the truth. I'm still going to watch STD, but honestly, I look forward to The Orville more. Hands down, its a better show.

Live long, and prosper.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Album Review: Insatia, Phoenix Aflame

Better late than never...

I've had a very busy year, and I've been neglecting my blog lately. But, I had to review this album. Singer, Zoe Marie Federoff sent me this album to review over 3 months ago. She is not only one of my favorite guests of the radio show, she is one of my favorite people period. She's a sweetheart, and she's extremely talented, both as a singer and songwriter, and a good friend. She's also the only person who has taken me up on my offer to guest write on this blog. So, here's the review, better late than never.

Insatia is a power/symphonic metal band from Arizona, fronted by the lovely, aforementioned, Zoe Marie Federoff. Their latest album, Phoenix Aflame starts off with an intro, called Land of the Living. It has the feel of a metal opera presentation that hooks you pretty much right off the bat. Although, it doesn't really sound like anything else on the album. I thought that was a pretty cool little trick. Track 2, Act of Mercy is a heavy and driving number that showcases the ability of guitarist, Kaelen Sarakinis. He's a badass. Memory of a Sapphire is another power driven tune that has some beautiful harmony backing vocals. Sacred is a deep and powerful song with gritty guitar, and the harsh false harmonics on the guitar, made popular by Zakk Wylde. We Are The Grey has an anthem feel to it. The title track, Phoenix Aflame? Buckle up. This song is fast and heavy. A nice clinic on speed metal. Not My God is a sweet duet between Zoe and Spiritual Beggars vocalist Apollo Papathanasio. I'd love a chance to sing a duet with Zoe. Velvet Road is kind of a departure from the heavy aspect of the album. Its a ballad with acoustic guitar and keyboards, and creates visions of the Scottish highlands. 

Every track on this album is great. No fillers here, and its honestly hard to pick a favorite. Although, Act of Mercy, Not My God, Phoenix Aflame, Captor and Captive, Velvet Road, and Healer of Hatred are in the running. See what I did there? The musicianship on this album is top notch, and the musicians seem to gel together very well. This is a stellar lineup. 

Guitars: Kaelen Sarakinis, Bass: Dave Ablaze, Vocals:
Zoe Marie Federoff, Drums: Daniel Ted Milan
But, on top of the heavy metal greatness on this album, Insatia is joined by several more heavy hitters. The guest list includes Chris Amott (Armageddon, Ex-Arch Enemy), Apollo Papathanesio (Spiritual Beggars, Ex-Firewind), Erica James Foster (The Erica James Band), Christian Hermsdörfer (Serenity, Beyond The Black, Ex-Visions Of Atlantis), and many others. Produced by Fabio D'Amore (Serenity) and his partner Ivan Moni Bidin (Pathosray), as well as Staffan Karlsson.

If you want an album that will assault your senses, yet soothe your soul, then Insatia's Phoenix Aflame is for you. Zoe's vocals are haunting, sensual,  powerful, and sweet all at the same time. She's a great singer, and the band is all on the same level with each other. You'll swear this lineup has been together for years, but its only been a couple. 

So, what else can I say? Buy this album, and turn it up to 11!

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Bill Parcells is the Most Over Rated HC of All Time!

Ever smelled old tuna?

This will be a rather short post, more of a rant really. I know many Giants fans worship Bill Parcells, but I'm going on record, saying that he is the most OVERRATED head coach of all time. Sure, he deserves a place in the Hall of Fame for his time with the Giants, but that's about it. Hear me out, please.
Parcells won 2 Super Bowls with the Giants in the 80's. He also took the Patriots to the Super Bowl, only to be beaten soundly by the Packers. But, ever since, there have been people who swear that he's one of the greatest of all time. I beg to differ. He isn't even the greatest Giants coach of all time. That honor should go to Tom Coughlin.
So, why am I dissing the Tuna? Well, after he left the Giants, he decided to take on the AFC East, coaching the Patriots, Jets, and being a GM for the Dolphins. He also coached the Cowboys for a while, all on the scraps of what was left of his NY Giants coaching staff. He did take the Patriots to the Super Bowl, and the Jets to the AFC Championship. But, with each of his new jobs, his available staff of 'Parcells Guys' was getting thinner and thinner. And, it wasn't just coaches. It was players too. After the Patriots ditched Drew Bledsoe for Tom Brady, he brought Bledsoe to Dallas, only for him to lose his starting job to Tony Romo. In Miami, rather than bring in some fresh talent, he brought in his offensive line coach from Dallas as the head coach, Tony Sparano. And, when Chad Pennington got released from the Jets, guess who he called to be Miami's QB? And, he got hurt.
Meanwhile, the only head coach to come from Parcell's camp to ever come close to Parcell's accomplishments was none other than the GOAT, Bill Belichick. And, no it wasn't due to what he learned under Parcells. It was because of what Belichick had in his brain. There's no comparison to the coaching style between the two. Belichick would cut Tom Brady if he felt it necessary. Parcells would reassemble his Super Bowl teams if it was possible. Remember when I said that Coughlin is the best Giant's coach? Its because he won 2 Super Bowls against the Patriots, the GOAT team, with the GOAT coach, and the GOAT quarterback.
I didn't know this, but in doing some research, I learned that Parcells is in the front office of the Cleveland Browns currently. That explains a lot.
All that needs to be said of 'Parcells Guys' is simply this: Look at last year's Super Bowl. The Falcons blew their 28-3 lead, and lost to (Bill Belichick's) New England Patriots. The Falcons only blitzed Tom Brady FIVE TIMES in the second half, and when it came down to the last play of regulation, the Falcon's defense had to stop the EASIEST play in football. A 2 point conversion. They stop that, and the game doesn't go to overtime, and the Falcons hold on to win. But, they didn't, and the rest is history. So, I rest my case. Bill Parcells is the most overrated head coach of all time. What does Atlanta's performance in the Super Bowl have to do with anything? The Falcons defensive coordinator is none other than Romeo Crenell, a "Parcells guy."
Mic drop.

Monday, May 8, 2017

Album Review: Lipstick II

"Not everyone in Nashville listens
to country music."

Lipstick is a hard rock glam band from Nashville, TN. Fronted by the enigmatic Greg Troyan, the band delivers a classic sounding groove that will take you back to the days when real men wore tights and makeup...and Lipstick. Their shows are high energy, with quality entertainment, frequently joined by various characters, including a giant cool cat, wearing sunglasses. 

Greg Troyan

The band's second album, Lipstick II literally has something for everyone. It starts off with a Zeppelinesque intro, called On the Eve of the Attack which gets the ball rolling, and it goes into Fight Back. A tune that will bring back memories of the classic songs of another makeup wearing band, Kiss. The song, Stop is another one. The band has influences that are on display, but they definitely have their own sound. For example, Love of Some Kind has a Beatles ballad feel to it, while Stop Drop and Rock and Roll  has a 60's rock feel. Troyan has a powerful voice with a nasty sneer that fits perfectly with the classic vibe of the music. Guitarist, Casey Horn can hang with any guitarist of the era. Eric Penticoff plays guitar as well. All the songs are accompanied by blistering leads. 

Casey Horn

The bass and drums are played by equally talented musicians. Bassist, Steve Smith is as solid a bass player as anyone. He is accompanied by Greg Loyacano on drums. The band has several songs with rapid pauses in them, and this rhythm section keeps them tight, like the appropriately titled, and aforementioned Stop. But their power is on display on You Can't Stop the Rock. The song starts with a barrage of bass and drums.

Steve Smith
What impresses me the most about this band is not only their perfect tribute to the classic rock of the 70's and 80's, its the fact that these guys are all under 30. They have a serious grip on their style, and I think that even that 70 year old guy who is at every Skynyrd show, who swears by them would even enjoy Lipstick immensely. Sure, the band writes lyrics about millennial age problems, like Girl Dressed as Sailor Moon, a song about meeting your dream girl at a comic con, only to find out that she lives in another state, and the heartbreak associated with such events. But, the lyrics are funny. The music is good, the lyrics are funny, and it makes you feel good hearing it. I'm not even sure what a Rock and Roll Anime Girl is, but I dig the tune! And, I think my favorite tune on the album is Gotta Eat When You Can. That song will have you 'chomp chomp chomping' at the bit to raid the frige!

The band also pays homage to the sleazy rock of the 80's in Electric Pussycat. And, what 80's style album wouldn't be complete without an ode to teenage girls? Teenage Girlfriend is respectful to the young ladies. Although, the band seems to like their nerdy girls to be real and not a Fake Nerd Girl. 

Mr Cool, the Electric Pussycat?

I think the most unique song idea I've heard is the Lipstick Public Service Announcement, Lipstick Encourages You To Have Fun At Our Shows But Not At The Expense Of Other Concert Goers. Yes, that is the title! Its a punk rock song in which there are certain parts where a mosh pit could actually form. But, Lipstick wants you to have fun and dance, and not hurt anyone. And, the album concludes with an original punk rock Christmas song, Christmas Time Machine. 

This is one of my favorite albums that I've had the pleasure of reviewing. Its fun, and it puts a smile on my face. It will for you as well. There's so much going on in the world that will make you frown, so wny not turn it upside down? Order a CD, or download it from their website:

And follow them on social media: